Touch by the heart...

I am sometimes a cold person.
And I have my share of problems.
However, if there is one thing I cannont stand and that is having a problem I cannot solve.

Today at 8:30, we found a stray cat wandering around my house. Now we have our own indoor cat. We have had him for 4 years and I love him dearly. The cat that has been drifitng around we have not spent a second thought. We assumed it was an outdoor cat, just wandering around. However tonight we looked at it and noticed it was really really skinny. We beleive that is has been left behind by it's owner. When we went to feed it, just a little bit of cat food, becasue we didn't want it hanging about, it devoured it in seconds. The poor cat was starved. We got it some more food, and despite my love and loyalty to my cat, I couldn't help go outside and see it.

It was so small, eating away like it had never seen food before. Then it dawned on me.

This cat is alone.
No food, no friends, no family. No one to hold it, care about it, cradle it in their arms. He is alone, unloved. These facts weight heavy on my shoulders. Although I already know that there is little I can do, I can't help it. Somethings have the ability to touch my heart.

I can feel it taking over me. The confusion the chaos, as I write it consumes me. How can I create a paradice if I cannot even save the soul and heart of one helpless cat. Imagine it. You've lived in a house with your family, for your whole life. Then one day you blink and you are on your own. In a world you don't know how to handle. Without the skills you'd need. No chance to turn back. You have NOTHING.....

Then I look in the reflection of the computer screen, and it hits me. It would appear that Cat and I share some similarities. For soon I shall be gone to University, out into the world which I know so little about. Is it the cat I feel sorrow for? Or my self?

The good news is we wil be taking the cat to the pound, where they might beable to use a microchip to identify him, and perhaps return him to his home. If not, I pray to God, that he find that poor animal a home, with a family who loves him.

For that is all I wish for........

The Count Down....

Tick tock ...
Tick tock ...
Tick tock...

Time is still passing. Growing closer and further at each passing moment...

The Summer is ending, and the school year is about to begin. For me it will be the start of a completely different life style. I am going to Ryerson universty and as such I will be living on Residence. I have never lived away from my family, for any amount of time. This will be completely new to me. I have my own room and washroom, I don't have to share with anybody. I will live behind my laptop, surround by the four walls that will enclose around me day and night. Perhaps I will draw a comic and paster is on the wall, so that is tells a story each time you look at it.

So many things will change.
No close family.
No close friends.
No one but my reflection...

It's alright though. I am used to looking into my own eyes. It's my own doing and my own self inflicted curse. At least that is what I claim. If I blame anyone but myself I seem like another agnsty teen who hates the world. I am not like that. I am my own demon and one day I may find a reason to change. Until then Time ticks on.....

Tick tock...
Tick tock ...
Tick tock.....

The Motivation

Funny how the world works isn't it?
I was working away in a warehouse, where I had found a job as a shipper for the summer, and was listening to a CD I had burned, through 4 computer speakers that had been hooked up to my MP3 Player. Then a song came on called "Angel watching over me". This song for some reason entranced me. My mind started thinking of something completely off topic from what i was doing. Before I knew it I had a marker in my hand and as if to the beat and words of the music I began to write. I was writing faster than I could think of what to write next, almost like the words were not mine. When I had finish scratching the sentances down I came up with this...

And thus he was, as he was before
alone....

And in his darkness he saw her,
as beautiful as she once was,
an angel in his eyes...

She smiled,
but he could do nothing but stare,
entranced in her presence...

The she faded into the shadows,
that he had surrounded himslef with...

Tears rolled down his face as he whispered to the shadows,
"Don't leave me....."
"Don't leave me again..."

but she was gone,
and as his tears touched the floor
his left eye bled...

When he looked in the reflection of his own sorrow he found him...

Citoria....


Stange I would say...But one question still remains...
Am I haunted by the ghost of my own creation?