Catch up with the present...

Ok ok....

So I know I have a lot to catch up with, but what do you want. It's not like some person out there is hanging on to my blog entries like it's their only reason for living. One can only hope.

But the last 2 weeks have been 'intresting'. HAHAHAHAHA....'intrestring'.....

Well our story starts off two weeks ago, the week of Febuary 14, a week that will BURN FOREVER!!! To start off I was sick from staying up all night on Sunday to finish a project. So I was dying. I also had a huge project due friday that I worked till 12 of Tuesday one. Then on Wendsday I had an in class assignment. Then all wendsday I spent studying for my Mid term on Thursday, then I stayed up all night Thursday to finish the Project due friday. And friday came and I got to go home!!! Although I got about 3 hours of sleep, I was running on back up energy and didn't sleep until friday night.

ENTER READING WEEK!!

So I spent Saturday with Caley and we had a great time. She cooked dinner and a cake, and it was so wonderful. Then on Sunday, Nate was supposed to come up, but didn't. Loser. Then monday I started scanning photo's for my dad, and we had Jenn's birthday. Nobody but me, Jenn, Caley and Noelle showed. *Sigh* Then tuesday I did photo's again, went to Caley's and the slept over at Jenn's. Wensday I went to work with my mom. Thursday I picked up Caley from school and she cam over, and Friday I brought her over too. Saturday I got my hair cut, and we had a family night with movies and games, Sunday I saw Caley, scanned photo's and came back here.

NOW I WANT TO CRY!!!

to much work....
I have 10 projects that I know about to do.

However in 9 more days I am off to Florida, and that will be great!

The Fox Demon Dream....

I was there with my friends. We seem to be in the middle of no where, resting on some large ruins. I remember a large rock I was sitting on, and to my right an old stone wall. Then out of no where before me came a demon, who looked very much like a human, and she was carrying a small girl, who looked as though she was no older than ten. The girl was badly injured and we all rush towards the demon. The demon told us the girl was dying and if we wanted to help her we would have to trade something for the girl. When we offered the demon refused, and so we asked what she wanted. She smirked and told me she needed a lock of my hair. Slightly hesitant, but knowing we need to save the girl,
I walked towards her and let her cut off a piece. The moment the demon did I knew something was wrong. I was changing. The Demon laughed and dropped the girl, before disappearing. My head started to hurt and I fell to my knees, as my friends gathered around me or help the girl. They asked what was wrong, but in my mind I was going insane. My eyes, my ears, every part of me started to hurt. My ears changed so they looked like that of a fox and I grew a fox tail. Something inside me told me to run, but I barely got 20 feet before I collapsed onto the floor.

I then awake in my dorm room, with a cool towel on my head. The next part is more of a blur, but I go on some little mission, sneaking around my dorm room trying to stop someone from doing something.

Then there was some guy who had a pet dog who was supposed to help me, because my mind and body still hurt from the demon transformation. I layed on the bed and he cast some spell that filled my body with a sharp pain then it was all gone. My hair turned white and I had the ability to turn invisible. Of coarse I still had my fox ears and tail. Then I woke up.

My heart..

I went to the mall today, and as I was leaving via the underground walkway that takes you to the subway, I was stopped by to young girls. Now they didn't really stop me, but as I walked between two sets of doors they said "excuse me do you have a toonie?" I stopped and they then explained that they needed it for the subway to get home. Well I gave one to them. Yes I gave money to someone I didn't know. They needed it more than I. Then again perhaps they just take advantage of certain peoples kindness and are going to go spend the money they get on cigarettes. I don't care. The point of all this is that I have changed. 6 months ago I wouldn't have even stopped when they said 'excuse me'. My cold heart wouldn't have even given them a second glance. But I did. My bleeding hearts stopped for them. This will have been the second time I have given money to someone I don't know in this school year. Guess it's my hearts new weakness. Pity. Knowing that if I was in their shoes I would hope someone would stop for me. Guess my stone heart towards the would has begun to crack. For the better or worse? Only time can truly tell...

So many things to do...so litte time...

I feel like writing something emotional. Something filled with feeling. But all that comes to mind are sad thoughts. What do I do? What do I write? Guess I should try and forget my mind and let my heart speak for a change.

It's unfair.

Life it so unfair.

One shot.

Once chance.

And as I sit here I am thinking that I am wasting time.

That limited time I have.

You know if you really think about it, every moment of your day you should spend doing something. Even when you are eating, you could be doing something. T.V. sucks out your life, and I am sad to say it so does the computer. Chatting on msn, or typing on Gaia is a waste. At the end of the day you have achived nothing. When you talk on the phone you should be doing something. Writing this is taking away from a part of my life, becasue it really doesn't mean anything tommorow. Things change too fast, people grow up, and grow old. When was the last time you told your friends how much they really mean to you? When was the last time you said I love you to your Parents and really in your heart meant it. It was nothign casual. It was from the heart. You don't wanna look back and say "I don't think I said I love you near enough". I play video games, in a race to beat them. I've acompished a goal. But it really doesn't do much for me. It's a race, you finish one to get to the next, never wanting to waste time, but you are. That time could be spent with people.

One shot..

I've only got once chance. I would like to sleep in tommorow, and skip class, but you know what? I need to learn, I need a purpose. I shouldn't look forward to sleep, or a time when I am doing nothing. I should look forward to the hear and now.

And although I am just as sure I will go on the internet, just as I am sure the sun will rise, I know little by little it is time for me to change.


Now I have been having some trouble find an inspiration to create. I want to draw demno candy, but I feel like I got nothing left. So I will talk about it for a moment or two.

What was it originally about?

Well the answer is simple. Me as a Incubus, who was sought after by all demons, and I wore some sort of leather outfit. Well that wasn't that simple. It was an output for what I wanted. To be sought after. For everyone to want me. To love me.

What is it about now?

At this point it is more or less becoming more and more likethe intro to a larger series. But this one has it's own closing. Jonathan (you notice how I don't refere to him as me anymore) and his new friends try to free themselves from the demonlords, while all the time becoming closer and acomplishing their goals.

The second subplot is about the Demon Candy it self. The Demon Candy is the reincarnation of an ancient demon who was been sealed away by Lucifer and Omni. The seals on his prison can only be opened when his reincarnation taps into his power. So unsuspectingly Jonathan is unlocking the Demon prison when he gains his awesome power. However who ever posses Jonathan's heart and body gains the power of the ancient demon, so although they don't relise it right away the demons are after Jonathan becasue he is the Demon Candy. Citoria, a projected form of the ancient Demon guides Jonathan, as well as help him out, for her wants his own revenge on the DemonLords. In the end, the final seal is broken and the Prison breaks and the story of Demon Candy ends with our heros not knowing this.

The Third plot is a love plot. A succubus falls in love with Jonathan and his innocent attitude and although he doesn't fall for her obsesive love right away he realizes that she really does love him for who he is and not becasue he is the Demon Candy. However she is a full demon (she was once an angel) and does not posses a soul, so she can never return to being a human and if Jonathan changes back she will remain immortal and live on with out him. Thus making Jonathans decision to become human again a difficult one.

WOW!! That's alot of stuff to take in.

But I wanted to write it out.

I think I am done for the night. Lots to do tommorow.

Till then..

What is happening.....

Tell me.....

What is happening?

What is this place?

I do not remember...

When I started this blog so long ago it was meant to be known to no one.
To be my retreat of solitude. When I could no longer keep my secrets, and exspell them under a fake indentity. An identity of anger and sorrow. Someone filled with hatred for this world, and all those who in habited it. Guess that is only a part of me.

Then I fell in love with Caley. And I had no reason to hate the world anymore. I think to myslef of one reason and I have none. I lost my casue. Instead I am in love. The reason I hated the world was becasue it denyed me of that. Wouldn't you? But than again, who am I typing to right now? Myself again.

Strange how the world unfolds...

Once upon a time I claimed I was the Dragon Master. I believed in this so strongly that even if people thought I was joking, I wasn't. He was all I aspired to be. The greatest knight. But one day there was a shift.

I created Citoria.

It was just a drawing of me angry...and I turned his eye to black and added three slashes. What I would give if I never created him..

So then I kept creating more and more of a story about him, until he became my other half, a demon I was born to be equals with. A demon who wanted vengence on the world and God. Justice, his justice for all those who he claimed betrayed him. This worked for like 2 and a half years. Now he's nothing more than a character in a story. He is attached to me in the story, but not the real me anymore.

I can feel the anger, no the hatred leaving me. But it's leaving a void. A void that creates confusion. I already have a place for love and happiness within me, but this confusion, is causing stress that is driving me insane.

I feel as though I gave up my dream of the Dragon Master, to replace him with Citoria, and now I am so distant from him. I used to draw him all the time. But not anymore. People should know his name and not Citoria. I should have been him all those years.

Why did this happen Dragon Master?

Who knows.

I am jealous of the Jonathan in my drawings. For you see he is surrounded by friends. Perhaps it's becasue I am growing up, or the fact that I live in residence, but I wish I had my friends. But there always seems to betrouble betwee them.

What is happening to me?
Guess I'm just in a rut. Nothing to draw, no adventure, no dramatic tales to share.

How can I find this adventure?

Things just seem to be dying off....

I must find a way to stop it.

If there is a way...